The Instinct of the Wolf – The Law of Lone Wolf – Massimo Lugli
Translated from Italian by me (WTFPL).
The Instinct of the Wolf
A wave of pleasure, of calm, of contentment for the warm house, the radiators humming, the full bowl, the slow and steady strokes I gave him from his ears down to the tip of his tail and then again from ears to tail, leaving behind a few gray hairs on the palm of my hand. I slipped into a world of muted sensations, of alert sleep, of scents stretching through the air like colors—the green of the wool rugs, the orange of the bubbling sauce, the sharp brown of Ma’s cigarettes that made his fur stand on end and, often, sent him running away in disgust. I saw indistinct movements in the air, things flying that maybe had thoughts and life. The light coming in through the window was yellow blades slicing the wall. We purred together, as if we were softly singing a song.
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When I went to sleep, too drained to shed any more tears, Patè was ready to comfort me. I hugged him. I hoped to feel his pain, the absence of Blu (ed. another cat, dead), but all his feelings were for me. Blu didn’t exist, had never existed. Erased in an instant. And yet I didn’t blame him for that insensitivity. He was still my best friend. He was snoring.
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– Animals are wiser than we are. They know that life and death are the same thing. Your cat, what’s his name? Patè. Well, Patè doesn’t grieve Blu’s death any more than he would grieve yours, because it’s something natural that doesn’t sadden him. He suffers because of your pain. He shares your emotions because it’s in his nature and because he loves you. He senses them just as you sense his. I’m not saying it’s good or bad, it’s just how it is.
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I clumsily got on top of her and started pushing inside, my pants down to my knees, inhaling the sugary and sticky scent coming from her lacquered hair. I could barely feel anything. It felt like sinking into something soft and viscous, without boundaries.
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Perhaps it was truly time to go home. I pushed the nagging thought aside and went to clean up the camel dung.
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The Chinese called the court executioner “The Gentle One.” The most skilled in that deadly trade were those who could empathize with their victim, almost sharing their suffering and prolonging their life, guiding them step by step beyond the threshold of pain and then bringing them back when they became numb. The Gentle One partook, with his soul, in the outrage of torn flesh, of open wounds seared with fire, of teeth pulled out, eyes gouged, genitals severed. He often wept. Slowness was his art, compassion his deepest secret. Once the torment was decreed, only the emperor could alter its course. The Gentle One and the victim were bound until the end by a bond of pain so profound it verged on the sublime, beyond the limits of imagination.
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– …Son of the Indian prince Suganda, who had him trained in philosophy, religion, and martial arts by Master Praynatra. At that time, Buddhism was divided into two branches, Mahayana and Inayana… –
[…]
having arrived in China in the 6th century AD, he goes to the imperial court of Nanjing, but his meeting with Emperor Liang Wu leaves him deeply disappointed. The emperor asks him: – I have built temples, had sacred scriptures copied, ordered the conversion of monks and nuns. Is there any merit in this? –
He replies: – None. –
– What then is the holy truth, the first principle? –
– In the vast emptiness, there is nothing holy. –
– Who are you, standing before me? –
– Nothing. –
End of the conversation.
[…]
He taught with words and with his body. With spirit. Like that old jerk. He taught. He transmitted something. Nothing. To be nothing. To hope in nothing. To exist.
There are some verses by the poet Lu Yu, who lived during the Southern Song dynasty (1131-1162), that describe the philosophy of Ta Mo:
– Others rebel, I remain still Hearing the words of the wise, I remain still I move only in my own way. –
The Law of Lone Wolf
[…] I grabbed a newspaper from a trash bin and read it from top to bottom to pass the time. Politics, sports, entertainment. I couldn’t understand why people cared so much about all that bullshit.