Underestimating Suffering & Suicide Thresholds
r/pessimism, u/CardinallyConsidered
Unless you have genuinely, fully attempted to carry out suicide and failed, there is no way for you to truly know what amount of pain you would have to be in, in order for you to willfully put an end to your life. I’m not speaking of mere contemplation of suicide, or suicidal ideation. Nor am I speaking of an unreliable, perhaps even purposefully botched attempt as an understandable cry for help. Not to trivialize that suffering, because it is completely valid. I only mention this to clarify that there are gigantic distinctions to be made between various levels of suicidal thoughts and actions.
Upon observing someone who has been in unimaginable suffering for years, a severe burn victim, for example. And witnessing them adamantly continue to get through each day, many people will exclaim, «They’re so incredibly strong-willed! If I was in their shoes, there’s no way I could possibly continue to endure that.» The majority of people would be incredibly surprised by what they’re capable of enduring when the only alternative is suicide. When the only escape is death… Not even out of mental toughness necessarily, although that certainly helps, of course. But more so out of the natural tendency to cling to life that the vast majority of us possesses. When you are personally, fully confronted with the predicament, the decision between continued suffering and suicide is no longer just a hypothetical abstraction. And one can then far more accurately recognize their own powerful attachment to life [ed. unfortunately], and subsequent fear of death. I should note, though, that some people legitimately do have quite a low pain threshold in regard to suicide. But these people are undoubtedly in the minority.
This underestimation of just how painful an individual’s existence can become before reaching a given suicide threshold, along with an underestimation of the depths of suffering that can be experienced in general, greatly contributes to vast amounts of people doing very regrettable things. Life feeding into gradually destructive addictions that wreak the most havoc over the long term, like health complications due to obesity or smoking cigarettes. As well as engaging in incredibly high-risk behavior out of fleeting moments of passion. Like a fun night of reckless, unprotected sex that can then later result in an unplanned, unwanted child. From what I’ve seen, many atheists have it in their minds that because of the extremely transient nature and cosmic insignificance of their lives, that the consequences of their actions that will befall them or others will be without real worry or concern. As if they themselves will be as indifferent to their suffering as the universe itself is.
I have noticed in myself in regard to my chronic pain, that I will put in great amounts of time and effort in attempting to relieve myself of existing pain that I’m experiencing at the moment. By doing frequent rehabilitation exercises and going on lots of walks throughout the day, every day… But when it comes to taking preventive action to avoid great potential pains that lie in the relatively not-so-distant future, I’m quite likely to procrastinate and not take these more long-term measures as seriously. As if these future blights won’t be as dreadful, simply because they aren’t being experienced by me at this moment. It shouldn’t need mentioning, but obviously pain is an unavoidable part of life for those of us that already exist. And there are countless examples to be found of scenarios where voluntarily experiencing some forms of pain or discomfort will be the optimal choice, in order to avoid far greater potential for suffering down the line.
At times when my pain is more manageable, I begin to take the absence of pain for granted. And the strong feelings of frustration and tension that come with pain are eventually replaced by other forms of frustration and desire. And I’ve noticed in times like these, when my pain is less severe, I have to put in quite a bit more effort in keeping my passions and addictions in check. By repeatedly reminding myself of what’s truly at stake, what the potential consequences are, and what it is that I truly value. And not just in the scenarios where all it takes is one moment of carelessness to potentially ruin lives, like with the unprotected sex example that I gave. But also in the accumulation of impulsive habits that can quickly lead to long-standing addictions. Many addictions can be quite harmful, in and of themselves. But it’s also true that various forms of addiction in general lead to a cluttered, unfocused mind. And I’ve noticed (again, within myself) that the owner of a cluttered mind is far more likely to engage in thoughtless, high-risk behavior. Self-discipline has been crucial.Â
And this is one of the few potential values of being in pain, certain forms of pain… It is a relentlessly gnawing reminder of what is truly important here. Which is the avoidance of it, especially the very worst of it, in yourself and others. If it can be said that there is anything of intrinsic value in life, for those of us that already exist, it is clearly to be found in the avoidance and alleviation of genuine, persistent suffering. When elaborate coping mechanisms are cast aside, nothing is more convincing of this truth than being completely, subjectively immersed in severe pain. And nothing can cause us to disregard this truth more than being subjectively estranged from pain. And this is also recognized in the incredibly common, accurate expressions such as, «youth is wasted on the young,» «health is wasted on the healthy,» «wealth is wasted on the wealthy.» We don’t truly appreciate what we have until it is stripped from us. We don’t fully recognize the substantial value of a thing until it is irrevocably lost.
Also, I’ve noticed that many seem to at least partially, subconsciously feel as though escape from even the most horrid of predicaments is often times relatively easy, when the option of suicide is available. As if suicide is a simple enough thing to carry out. As I said, for the vast majority of people, it is only when they completely come face-to-face with the dilemma themselves do they realize just how faulty the estimation of their own suicide threshold was. Most people will cling to life, in spite of severe pain, whether young or old. Not because their pleasure or sense of meaning outweighs their pain, but rather, because death is something that they still hopelessly, fearfully wish to postpone. Even when their own continued existence comes at an unspeakably high cost. Essentially leaving them to be slowly crushed between a rock and a hard place until nature inevitably takes its course. Until death is finally imposed onto them, much in the same way that life was…