Songs
As if through the mist Fading slow From this moment From this life
Of no fulfillment Of no discovery
Only the passing Only the flow…
Leaving from all That once had a meaning
To reach deep For the inner desolation
To awaken the emptiness That was always there Here, in the stillness A yearning For an ending
Shape of Despair – The Inner Desolation
Chained To this feeling Into something There are no words for
Stranded in thoughts
Shape of Despair – Solitary Downfall
We contain the ending
Shape of Despair – Return to the Void
Long after It was too late To find back All meaningful The glow long gone The spark faded (and smothered)
And though I saw The others Advance and vanish into the distance…
I chose to stay behind To wander astray To remain unfound To merge with these dark thoughts As I saw and felt this existence As mere reflection In slow time
Shape of Despair – Reflection in Slow Time
The effect of feelings All lost their strength All lost their meaning
Sinking horizons Drowning the view
Shape of Despair – Forfeit
And all the parties they fade And yes, my looks, they’ll go away I’ll just be left here in America But she never had a home for me
London Grammar – America
We both know that you wanna love her Skies are open crying, please don’t believe her ’Cause she’ll tell you lies and then say it doesn’t matter And you’re pleased to see her calling them non-believers
[…]
Do you realize again, you chased an idea, healed an earth behind some broken creature?
London Grammar – Non Believer
Approaching form Approaching a deeper meaning
My fragments lay scattered Buried deep Never awaken
Still dreaming of life
Shape Of Despair – The Distant Dream of Life
It would have been so different Without this burden This sense of nothingness The lifelong defeat That took us here To a distance unreachable To a grey indifference Into these vast Monotony fields
Shape of Despair – Monotony Fields
Let them grow their beards and talk careers
Molly Nilsson – Mountain Time
Windows 95, you’re long gone but I’m still alive […] Windows 95, is only a metaphor for what I feel inside And although I’m older now There’s still an emptiness That’s never letting go somehow […] Have you ever walked into what seemed To be somebody else’s dream? And though the time won’t let you pass It keeps you looking through the glass
Molly Nilsson – 1995
Love doesn’t exist: it’s just the forceful echo of moral rules pressing on people’s cravings; the easiest remedy for the fear of being unable to stand alone.
Fabi Silvestri Gazzè – L’amore non esiste (“Love Doesn’t Exist”)
But you’d only take a life That was already over to save another
Electric Youth – The Best Thing
Cursed through life and condemned to misery To be left with nothing
Woods of Desolation – Somehow…
We live in a decadent civilisation which robs us of our ability to shape and define our destiny and hence robs us of our spirit and identity. Western man has been gradually separated from his natural environment, his spirituality, his fellow man and finally from himself. Life has been reduced to an animalistic base as we drift from one empty satisfaction of technological convenience to another.
Art and culture no longer carry any grand or heroic ideals but rather seek to stimulate base emotions through ugly and abstract forms. Art and culture rarely serve as little more than distractions from the torment of perception – no longer seeking to order, interpret or explain the world around us but preferring instead to excuse it, replace it or deny it with an increasingly less interactive and more atomised and abstract alternative.
We were promised technological salvation but have been led to an air-conditioned hell by the false idols of progress who sought to remove the struggle from existence, not stopping to think what would be left. For life in essence is struggle and the will to participate in that struggle and make it one’s own is the most sacred characteristic of man.
The Harsh Noise Wall[🡕] is the soundtrack to our spiritually vacuous and culturally bankrupt age. There is no struggle here. There is no spirit. No personality. No society. There is nowhere else to go. Nowhere to progress. This is the end product. This is the end.
“A View From Nihil” in “Triumph of the Broken Will”
Never play by the stairs, you’re bound to fall down, Never play by the hillside, might slip and break your crown Never play by the fire, it’s a danger to your health Never play by the wall, might fall and break yourself.
Never play by the river, you might tumble in and drown, Never play by the field, get filthy, dirty and brown, Never play by yourself, it’s a danger to be alone, Never stray too far away, it’s not safe outside of home.
I didn’t ask to be born, And I don’t think I’ll ask to die. I didn’t ask for the ground beneath my feet, I didn’t ask for the sky.
Emily & the Woods – Never Play
Translated from Italian by me (WTFPL).
Obligation of worn-out dialogue to the bitter end It’s invoked by those who retreat, dodged by those who advance Everyone is self-sufficient, yet the numbers don’t add up
PGR – Cronache di guerra II (“War Chronicles II”)
Translated from Italian by me (WTFPL).
Certainly, the circumstances are not favorable; when have they ever been, really… One ought to… One ought to nothing: one ought to what is, one ought to the present.
PGR – Cronaca montana (“Mountain Chronicle”)
Future will be the past of the present.
Title of an ambient piece by “Jonson” (Harald Karla)
Where are the hopes, where are the dreams? My Cinderella story scene
Avril Lavigne and Butch Walker – The Best Damn Thing
No Love, No Hate, No Faith, No Memory
Mayhem – Ordo ad Chao
Do I need to be in love? What is there otherwise from loving? Just takes a face To make everything else erase…
Trespassers William – My Hands Up
Big city life Here my heart have no base And right now Babylon de ’pon me case
People in a show, All lined in a row. We just push on by, It’s funny, How hard we try.
[…]
Soon our work is done, All of us, one by one. Still, we live our lives, As if all this stuff survives.
[…]
I find myself in a big city prison Arisen from the vision of mankind
Designed, to keep me discreetly Neatly in the corner
[…]
Mattafix – Big City Life
Are you lost or incomplete? Do you feel like a puzzle, you can’t find your missing piece? Tell me, how do you feel? Well, I feel like they’re talking in a language I don’t speak And they’re talking it to me
Coldplay – Talk
I saw your face in a crowded place and I don’t know what to do ’cause I’ll never be with you
James Blunt – You’re Beautiful
I don’t give a fuck about a job in the city I inject rap into my veins
Fabri Fibra – Rap in vena (“Rap Into My Veins”)
Arisen in vain to a life, Bleeding inner to suffer with time. Endlessly lost and still searching For something; someday…
Obsession & deceit
To burn a mark for a lifetime.
Boundaries to brake,
Reached from the edge of time.
To rebuild the past
For something that will everlast.
Just searching for to find itself
In still-motion.
[…]
Serve the frail mind, Escape through the lifetime To glance for your dismal youth.
Get closer, Closer to your own faith.
Shape of Despair – Still-Motion
I used to feel… I used to sense what were Inside of me To feel waves of difference Waves which brought me to live I enjoyed this life in me Breathing and feeling Burning and suffocating Didn’t curse the hour Which gave birth to me Didn’t curse another life When bearing death inside
Now all things I do bear Are all gone and free This, myself… Now fleeing around death Cursing the hour And another life… Which whom I used to care Now… Watching myself My own life Fading to afar… Listening these voices And trying to tell them That I will soon be gone
Shape of Despair – Curse Life
People always end up the way they started out. No one ever changes. They think they do but they don’t. If you’re the depressed type now, that’s the way you’ll always be. If you’re the mindless happy type now, that’s the way you’ll be when you grow up. You might lose some weight, your face may clear up, get a body tan, breast enlargement, a sex change, it makes no difference. Essentially, from in front, from behind. Whether you are 13 or 50, you’ll always be the same.
Palindromes; also quoted in Morgondagen by Apati
You can change your face But can’t change your mind No matter what you do
Benny Benassi – No Matter What You Do
While my heart is sinking I do not want my voice to go out into the air
The Innocence Mission – Tomorrow On The Runway
The age-old development of consciousness Drives us away from the essence of life We meditate too much so that our instincts will fade away They fade away
What’s the point of life And what’s the meaning if we all die in the end? Does it make sense to learn or do we forget everything?
Epica – The Phantom Agony
Chance doesn’t exist But the path of life is not totally so predestined Time and chronology show us how all should be In the ways of existence To find out why we are here
Being conscious is a torment[🡕] The more we learn is the less we get Every answer contains a new quest A quest to non existence, a journey with no end
No one surveys the whole, focus on things so small But life’s objective is to make it meaningful Only searching for this That which doesn’t exist Although our ability to relativize remains unclear
I’m not afraid to die I’m afraid to be alive without being aware of it
I’m so afraid to, I couldn’t stand to Waste all my energy on things that do not matter anymore
Our future has already been written by us alone But we don’t grasp the meaning of our programmed course of life Our future has already been wasted by us alone And we just let it happen and do not worry at all
We only fear what comes And smell death every day Search for the answers that lie beyond
Epica – Sensorium; lyrics by Mark Jansen
Oh, you humor me today Calling me out to play With your telescope eyes, metal teeth I can’t be seen with you, you freak
Go cry, go run away Let your short legs carry you away With your big dress and your dirty hair Your pen’s waiting for you Just get far, far away from me I don’t want your disease
Please don’t make me cry Please don’t make me cry I’m just like you I know you know I’m just like you So leave me alone
Dear Matthew why can’t you see You’re just not near enough like me With your telescope eyes, metal teeth I can’t be seen with you
Eisley – Telescope Eyes
When you’re all alone in the lands of forever, Lay under the Milky Way, On and on, it’s getting too late out, I’m not in love this time this night.
Can’t help it if I space in a daze, My eyes tune out the other way, I may switch off and go in a daydream, In this head my thoughts are deep, Sometimes I can’t even speak, Would someone be and not pretend? I’m off again in my world
Avril Lavigne and Clifton Magness – My World
What if I forget your face? I couldn’t even dream of you
Trespassers William – Flicker
You say the drinking is better than a woman And you say the thinking takes too much time Well God save your children should you have them For, to you, there’s nothing if there’s no wine
Bôa – Drinking
I am the axis in the wheel of reincarnation The endless singularity
Thorns – Vortex
Nothing left to feel nor to understand.
I did not want to live my life. Nor did I even want to live for my death…
Shape of Despair – …To Live for My Death…
Nothing left to feel nor to understand.
Shape of Despair – …To Live for My Death…
Translated from Italian by me (WTFPL).
Children of the workers Children of the tradesmen Children of those who matter, and of those who never will
C.S.I. – Tutti giù per terra (All Fall to the Ground)
No to the solution when you are the problem
Cripple Bastards – Morte da tossico (“Death of the Addict”)
For living on in others, in memories and dreams Is not enough You want everything Another world Where the birds always sing
The Cure – Where the Birds Always Sing
Your fears of death covered up by the words “Suicide is weak”
Abyssic Hate
You and me, baby, ain’t nothin’ but mammals So let’s do it like they do on the Discovery Channel
Bloodhound Gang – The Bad Touch
Anyway, I can try anything, it’s the same circle leading to nowhere, and I’m tired now. Anyway, I’ve lost my face, my dignity, my look, everything is gone and I’m tired now. Don’t be scared: I’ve found a good job and I go to work every day on my old bicycle you loved.
I am piling up some unread books under my bed and I really think I’ll never read again. No concentration, just a white disorder everywhere around me, you know… I’m so tired now. Don’t worry: I often go to dinners and parties with some old friends who care for me, take me back home, and stay.
Monochrome floors, monochrome walls; only absence near me, nothing but silence around me. Monochrome flat, monochrome life; only absence near me, nothing but silence around me.
Sometimes I search an event or something to remind me, but I’ve really got nothing in mind. Sometimes I open the windows, I listen people walking in the down street; there is life out there.
Yann Tiersen – Monochrome (ft. Dominique A)
Don’t say I’m out of touch with this rampant chaos – your reality. I know well what lies beyond my sleeping refuge: the nightmare I built my own world to escape.
Evanescence – Imaginary
Translated from Italian by me (WTFPL).
Flaming, astonished souls When torn is the veil of blindness
[…]
Beauty appears, never intrusive nor lazy Languid when it’s time, strong, light, and austere The air serene, brimming with strength
C.S.I. – Brace (Ember)
Well, well I’m young I’m a young girl Well, I mean… I’m a young woman And then, I guess, I’ll just be a woman Not too young Not too old Just right Right in the middle Just about right in the middle
And then, well… Well, I guess I’ll get a little older, God willing Guess I’ll just get A wee bit older And then I’ll be, yes That’s right: An older woman And as the years roll on and on and on I’ll keep on getting older, God willing
And then, well… Well, I guess Nothin’ for it I’m gonna be If God wills it Yes, that’s right: An old woman An old, old woman
And as the years roll on and on and on I’ll keep on getting older, God willing
But you’ll still say I’m beautiful I’ll still be beautiful inside And lovely to you, huh, baby? Lovely to you, huh, baby?
And I’ll say to them young’uns: «Hey, kids! Kids! Gather round, Gather round me, now.»
«When your grandfather and I were young…»
And as the years roll on and on and on I’ll keep on getting older, God willing
«Oh, mother, mother,» «Hear me, father,» «Catch me when I fall!» And as the years roll on and on and on I’ll keep on getting older, God willing…
Rebecca Pidgeon – Grandmother
In the beginning of time, there was darkness. While I lay resting in my mother’s womb, I soon became a part of the light world; young in body, evil at heart. With little love around, I became aware of death. I should have been executed early in life for the crimes my mind commits daily.
Resurrection – Disembodies; then sampled by “Delta 9” in “Mortified”, and used in “Tricky Madness 2” by Krinkels
Under neon loneliness everlasting nothingness
Manic Street Preachers – Motorcycle Emptiness
And you are not me The lengths that I will go to The distance in your eyes Oh no I’ve said too much I set it up
[…]
Trying to keep up with you
And I don’t know if I can do it
R.E.M – Losing My Religion
And so with just a touch of our fingers We could make our circuitry explode All we ever wanted Was just to come in from the cold
[…]
We really thought we had a purpose We were so anxious to achieve We had hope The world held promise For a slave To liberty
[…]
When I thought life had some meaning Then I thought I had some choice (I was running blind) And I made some value judgments In a self-important voice (I was outa line) But then absurdity came over me And I longed to lose control (into no mind) Oh all I ever wanted Was just to come in from the cold
Joni Mitchell – Come In From The Cold
And did you know desire’s a terrible thing The worst that I can find
[…]
Did you know desire’s a terrible thing It makes the world go blind
The Sundays – Can’t Be Sure
Every jumbled pile of person has a thinking part that wonders what the part that isn’t thinking isn’t thinking of
They Might Be Giants – Where Your Eyes Don’t Go
Translated from Italian by me (WTFPL).
I feel good, I feel bad, I don’t know what to do I don’t study, I don’t work, I don’t watch TV I don’t go to the movies, I don’t play sports
CCCP – Io sto bene (I Feel Good)
So how are you, then If I may ask, what are you up to in that modernity that just seems real?
Le cose che pensano (The Things That Think) – Pasquale Panella for Lucio Battisti
There’s a club, if you’d like to go You could meet somebody who really loves you So you go, and you stand on your own And you leave on your own And you go home, and you cry, and you want to die
When you say it’s gonna happen now Well, when exactly do you mean? See, I’ve already waited too long And all my hope is gone
The Smiths – “How Soon Is Now?”
I was looking for a job, and then I found a job And heaven knows I’m miserable now
The Smiths – Heaven Knows I’m Miserable Now
All around me are familiar faces worn out places, worn out faces Bright and early for their daily races going nowhere, going nowhere Their tears are filling up their glasses no expression, no expression Hide my head, I want to drown my sorrow no tomorrow, no tomorrow
And I find it kinda funny, I find it kinda sad The dreams in which I’m dying are the best I’ve ever had I find it hard to tell you ’cause I find it hard to take When people run in circles it’s a very very mad world
Children waiting for the day they feel good happy birthday, happy birthday Made to feel the way that every child should sit and listen, sit and listen Went to school and I was very nervous no one knew me, no one knew me Hello teacher, tell me what’s my lesson look right through me, look right through me
And I find it kinda funny, I find it kinda sad The dreams in which I’m dying are the best I’ve ever had I find it hard to tell you ’cause I find it hard to take When people run in circles it’s a very very mad world
[…]
Tears For Fears – Mad World
Dark party bars, shiny Cadillac cars And the people on subways and trains Looking gray in the rain, as they stand disarrayed Oh, but people look well in the dark
And if you close the door The night could last forever Leave the sunshine out And say hello to never
All the people are dancing And they’re having such fun I wish it could happen to me
Cause if you close the door I’d never have to see the day again
The Velvet Underground – After Hours
I know what you must be saying to yourselves. If that’s the way she feels about it why doesn’t she just end it all? Oh, no. Not me. I’m in no hurry for that final disappointment. For I know just as well as I’m standing here talking to you, when that final moment comes and I’m breathing my last breath, I’ll be saying to myself:
Is that all there is, is that all there is If that’s all there is my friends, then let’s keep dancing Let’s break out the booze and have a ball If that’s all there is
Jerry Leiber and Mike Stoller – Is That All There Is?
What you are basically […] is simply the fabric and structure of existence itself.
Alan Wilson Watts, Out of Your Mind: The Nature of Consciousness (posthumous, 1998)
Let’s suppose that you were able, every night, to dream any dream you wanted to dream; and you would – naturally, as you began on this adventure of dreams – you would fulfill all your wishes. You would have every kind of pleasure, you see, and after several nights you would say, well that was pretty great!
But now, let’s have a surprise: let’s have a dream which isn’t under control. Where something is gonna happen to me that i don’t know what it’s gonna be. Then, you would get more and more adventurous, and you would make further and further out gambles as to what you would dream, and finally you would dream… where you are now.
Alan Wilson Watts, Out of Your Mind: The Nature of Consciousness (posthumous, 1998)
New age bullshit of course, but great emotional effect, especially in the following music piece: